______________________ Moo Politics _______________________
SOCIALISM: You have two cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk, sometime.
FASCISM:You have two cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them gain and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
THE POLISH GOVERNMENT:You have two cows. You lecture one on how turning gay will mean the end of cattle. The other cow emigrates.
LEBANON SYSTEM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by his government.
EGYPT SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak.
DUBAI SYSTEM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a ‘ Cow City ‘ or ‘ Milk Village ‘ for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media attention.SHARJAH SYSTEM: You have two cows. You sell them to an investor in Dubai. The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah to Dubai and die. You have zero cows now.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
